Le Tour de Donut Ride Report

Today was the third annual Le Tour de Donut at Klackle Orchards in Greenville.  It is a spoof on the Tour de France.  It is one of the only non-serious races I know of, at least in the West Michigan area.  The concept is simple.  The course is about 33 miles long.  There is a mass start for all racers.  About 10 miles and 20 miles in, there is a "Donut Stop".  For each donut you eat, you get 3 minutes deducted from your total time.  The more donuts you eat, the lower your net time.  The basic question becomes, "How many donuts can I eat and still ride fast without tossing my donuts?"  Uphuck = DNF, so you have to keep those donuts down.

The day was just about perfect for a ride.  It was mostly sunny and neither too warm or too cold.  I was wearing a short sleeve jersey and two undershirts with my bib shorts and I was just fine.  I zipped the jersey down some after about 20 minutes to let a little more cool air in.

The course was the same course they have used the last two years, except the course was reversed.  The Donut Stops were in the same places but, once again, the reverse of the last two years.  A lot of people seemed to be struggling with the hills but I would not label this as a particularly hilly course.  Most of the hills were of a rolling nature.  Being quite used to these, I was not phased.  Granted, I seek out hilly routes for my normal rides even to the point of doing hill repeats just to make sure I get the most suffering per ride.  To be honest, there was one hill that got me.  It was Baldwin Road, which leads to Baldwin Lake.  This is a lake that is within the city limits of Greenville.  It is so well hidden, I worked in Greenville for 3 years before I even knew it existed.

I vaguely remembered the hill from last year.  What I remembered was it being short but fairly steep.  The lake is at the bottom so I think I had to really hit the brakes to avoid making a big splash.  With the course reversed, I had to try to motor up this short but steep hill.  Normally this would not have been a problem.  Even if I had to get into the granny gear, I would be able to make it up.  Unfortunately, I didn't have a granny gear today.  I was on my single speed.  That's right, just one gear and one gear only.  I got about 2/3 of the way up and I just could not turn the cranks one more time around.  I hopped off the bike and trotted my way up to the top.  Just to stroke my ego a little, I caught up with the people who were directly ahead of me on the hill within about a mile.

I ate 3 donuts at the first stop and then ate 2 at the second stop.  I probably could have eaten one more but I really don't like the idea of vomiting on the side of the road.  Live and learn.  After the second stop, I was basically riding alone.  This was unusual because I had constantly been around other racers throughout the ride.  There had to be at least 25 people at the second Donut Stop and somehow none of them left at the same time I did.  I certainly was not expecting to be alone.  This left me to pace myself which, since I had 5 donuts in my gut, was probably a good thing.  The only disappointing thing about riding alone is I there was only one person to catch up with.  I really wanted to catch up with other riders and pass them, partially because I was on my single speed and partially because I was wearing my Fat Cyclist jersey.

Let's face it, if you get passed by a guy on a single speed in a Fat Cyclist jersey, that's just sad.  On the other hand, if you pass the guy on the single speed in a Fat Cyclist jersey, what have you really accomplished?

The event seemed pretty well run.  The course was well marked.  Picking up your race packet didn't take too long and there were plenty of volunteers at the two Donut Stops.  There were also several major intersections were there were police officers directing traffic (Thanks, by the way!).

One major difference from last year was the t-shirt.  Every event like this has to have a t-shirt.  Last year, we got a nice shirt made of wicking material.  This year it was a basic cotton t-shirt with the same logo and without a date on it.  I would be willing to bet that next year they will have the exact same shirt.  Oh well.  I'm not in it for the shirt.

My Favorite Things About Le Tour de Donut:

1. Wearing the Fat Cyclist jersey at a competition involving donut eating
2. Passing people on hills while on a single speed (that felt really good)
3. Eating 5 donuts in 2 hours while riding hard on my bike and not puking
4. Getting to ride roads I would otherwise likely never ride
5. Racing without a bunch of racers around
6. Being rewarded for eating donuts
7. Taking a 33 mile bike ride and not wanting to eat lunch afterward because I was still full on donuts
8. Being able to participate in a sporting event with a definite sense of humor